I’m rather a solitary, independent person, and not often lonely. My living situation puts me in close proximity with my son and his girlfriend by necessity. While I love being able to talk to him as much I do, I prefer my own space and am working to get back to that. Yet, I desire to belong to a community of people who have had similar experiences or who have the same problems to deal with.
Some of my favorite Youtubers include a lady who is a mom, blogger, and recovering addict who’s been clean for five years; a hilarious comedian with a stutter and a sweet dog; a fashionable and savvy blind girl; and several athletes who have worked really hard to get fit so they could compete in American Ninja Warrior competitions.
Years ago, I was in regular contact with a couple groups for ex-JWs, but I’ve moved beyond the need for that. I also led a crochet and knitting group for a couple years. I think some of them still meet up, but I don’t know where and I haven’t had much time for yarn work lately. I’m an editor and a writer and book lover so naturally, I’m in a couple writing groups on Facebook. While I was traveling with an ex-partner around the country, I felt some comradery with other trucker-wives. More recently, I’ve felt drawn to Christians who understand the Bible’s true message, and Jesus’s free gift of grace.
There are so many people I admire and others who just make me laugh. I can usually relate to some of their challenges or triumphs, but I don’t feel like I’m really a solid member of any particular group per se, or that anyone considers me one of their ‘people’. Why do I feel the desire to? That’s the hundred-bitcoin question.
I think I would like to identify and connect with a circle of friends occasionally, then retreat to solitude. Maybe a travel group, or community of small business owners.
Do any of you feel the same way? Why do you think people develop this need to belong?
I think some of the motivations are fairly clear: friendship, validation of certain ideas or beliefs, exchange of experiences and ideas.
Other less obvious motivations may include: boredom, loneliness, a need for direction, acceptance, reputation or status.
Comment below with your thoughts!
Write to Reason 
Karolyn, first let me thank you for your vunerability. I too am a single gal, children are gone, and im slowly creeping up on the age of retirement. I try to stay busy with my job, home, pets and outside interests.
in the decades past, we were surrounded by our families, cummunities, and churches. We couldnt escape them and did not want to as our survivial was dependent on each other.
Our world today is unrecognizable from the world we grew up in and it is difficult to figure out which lane we belong in.
my best approach has been to find my values and comfort zone. to not let outside influences, like the media, magazines, and commercials dictate to me how i should look, dress, feel, live, etc. I live as cheaply as possible.
it is a daily struggle, hoping my health and money hold out. I worry myself terrible. i must stop this. hahaha.
I do have to push myself to get out of the house and socialize more often. it is hard to find a balance, but i too am working on it.
Keep in touch, let us talk about the journey. Hugs
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Thanks for your comment, much appreciated 🙂
I agree with what you said about outside influences. It’s so important to control our own thoughts and determine for ourselves where we’re headed in life, isn’t it?
I wrote this because I was interested in finding out why this inconsistency exists: the desire to be independent while also belonging in some way. I think that it’s definitely possible to achieve both at the same time. Maybe I haven’t found my ‘people’ yet, or maybe they change over time. 🙂
Yes, here’s to the money and health holding up! I’m barely hanging in there in that regard lol but working hard to keep it all going.
Hugs back atcha!
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