Wednesday’s Wafers XI

Wednesday’s Wafers: weekly series where I share some of my own recent writing.

by Karolyn H


As each day passes
and time rolls merrily along
I understand more and more
why the greatest fulfillment in life
comes not from having the best of everything
or enjoying support and praise from admirers
or even from unlimited knowledge and opportunities.

It comes from the struggle
against your own fears
against the negativity of the world
against the obstacles that you might not even understand
against your past and recent failures
against bad habits and safe choices.

Our human condition is often scary
and painful, and hopeless.
But it is also beautiful
and silly and joyful.

The struggle validates the victory.
Tenacious persistence conquers doubt.
Failures teach humility and patience.

Reaching the goal, finding the treasure, discovering love;
there is nothing that compares to the satisfaction of
knowing that you made the hard choices that led you to this moment.
Knowing that the difficult, or traumatic circumstances you endured
were gloriously worth it.

Designing your life and crafting your character —
what an ambitious endeavor!
Who do you want to be?
How do you want to be?
Who are YOU?

and when I say “you”,

I’m really asking myself…


Darkness Into Day


Project quote:

“Holy Ghost with light divine 
Shine upon this heart of mine. 
Chase the shades of night away 
Turn my darkness into day.” 

(Karl F. Smith, “Hymn II”, Apostolic Doctrine and Practice, 2nd ed.; Ed. Eric Beda; 2018)

My thoughts:

Anyone who knows me would recognize that I’m not well-versed in hymns, old or new, due to how I was raised. But I have learned a few in more recent years. The hymn portion quoted above was originally written in the late 1800s. This might surprise you but reading the lyrics brings to mind a favorite song of mine, “The Light” by the band Disturbed, that always makes me happy when I hear it.

It’s a shame that so many people have such a negative view of the Bible and believe that the main theme to be that God is a mean bastard that likes to torment mankind. The true Gospel means exactly the opposite. It is so simple and yet so comforting, especially at times when everything seems to be going wrong in one’s life.

I had the opportunity to attend a candlelight service this past Christmas Eve for the first time. After a bit of research, I’d picked a great place, and was pleasantly surprised by the songs that were performed that we all sang along with. Old hymns and songs about Jesus. I have no real desire to attend church, but I do love to sing, and music, and Jesus. An enjoyable evening, for sure.

Editing projects for weeks ending February 18, 2018:
Nonfiction book, Academic Research Article
Client countries:  US, China


Wednesday’s Wafers X

Wednesday’s Wafers: weekly series where I share some of my own recent writing.

Romantic fool strikes again.

Captured by Karolyn H


So many words written about love,
tears, smiles, promises
captured in a song.
Hearts — aching, hopeful, trusting, shattered.

But those words aren’t enough.
A million songs can’t tell this story.

The music I hear
is the soft touch of your soul,
the flames in your eyes,
and the strength of your arms.

When I laugh
I want to share it with you
If I’m smiling, then you’re on my mind.
If I sing, it’s about the bliss you pour over me.

The warrior in you
moves the desire in me.

Pain that washes through me
from separation and want,
is healed by gentle whispers,
fingers caressing, connecting through the screen.

The blazing light of your love is warm on my skin.
It glows and builds in my heart
until the melody is complete.


Wednesday’s Wafers IX

Wednesday’s Wafers: weekly series where I share some of my own recent writing.

Return for Chapter 5 of my short story at a later date.

The romantic fool in me wrote this during a two-day period when I’d thought that I’d been abandoned again. Thankfully, I was wrong! But this is what it’s come to: engaging self-preservation mode to prevent weeks of agonizing over someone by condensing it into a 24-hour period of anguish. So, now I can read it and laugh gleefully, feeling safe in my bubble of adoration and addiction.

Pieces by Karolyn H


Even now,
it’s still devastating…
to lose a love
so sweet so pure so unexpected.
Even though I knew it could happen
and I knew that he would stop
if he no longer felt the
same euphoria
that we shared for a short time.

Love is love.
It’s real
It makes me happy
He filled my heart
He loved me
He loved to hear me sing.
And now I cry
and wait to stop crying.
I wonder what he would do if he could see and hear me cry
over missing him.
Still hoping,
but not expecting
to ever hear his magic voice again.

My stupid heart is broken.
It still hurts.
So, I whisper to myself
“just pretend”
go back to who I was before I knew him.
Forget all the beautiful little pieces of him
that he shared with me.
But my heart rejects this.
“Be happy for the love we shared,”
I whisper, determined.
Move on.

But those little pieces poke
and stab.
Instead of sleeping,
I bleed.


Wednesday’s Wafers VIII

Wednesday’s Wafers: weekly series where I share some of my own recent writing.

Return for Chapter 5 of my short story at a later date.

So–this is what happens when you think you know what you’re doing. When you have a plan. And then a random person splashes down right in the middle of that plan. And threatens your sanity.

Hovering  by Karolyn H

Rational thoughts,
responsible decisions, and
confident actions
absurd feelings,
reckless choices, and
foolish reactions.



in the realm that lies
between common sense and
hopeless distraction.

Losing perspective,
while gaining clarity.

That which my stability needs
is not what my heart wants.

Practicality and logic
cannot compete
with the music that makes my soul dance.

Your strength makes me weak
this love makes me strong.

Memories and dreams,
promises and heartaches,
old lovers and obsessions
all fade away

making room for a new flame,
opening a door
that could lead me



Wednesday’s Wafers VI

Wednesday’s Wafers: weekly series where I share some of my own recent writing.

Return next week for Chapter 4 in my short story.

I’m not a gamer. I never play World of Warcraft. I don’t own any consoles or first person shooter games. I used to love watching my son play Halo and Elder Scrolls, etc., but I never spent time playing any of them myself. I do like to play a word game and a puzzle game on my phone occasionally because I feel it helps keep my mind sharp. Well – then I discovered Empires & Allies, a strategy, resource gathering, base building, base raiding game. I’m so hooked lol. I joined an alliance and laid low for awhile because my base and troops were so weak. But I made friends with several alliance members, and now I’ve followed them from one alliance to another and then another. I like being one of the guys, so to speak. I love building and gathering types of games and I’m pretty competitive at times. I’ve just never played any for very long, until now. This is what I do when I have a spare moment, or I’m taking a break from work. So, thought I’d write about it. Hope you like it. Thoughts?

Gang’s all Here  by Karolyn H


Melody of beeps, increasingly louder…
The alarm drags me out of my slumber.
I fumble for my phone and swipe it off.
It’s quiet, no one’s up. Dark. Why am I….?
Oh yeah. E&A Alliance War.
Sitting up, I check Messenger.
4a in the alliance group chat wreaking havoc. Someone must be drunk, lol.
Ricky sending hearts and Sandan telling us to attack early.
‘Yarrrr!’ I text, before leaving Messenger and opening the game app.
While the game takes foreeeveeeerrrrr to load,
I put on my robe and slipper socks and sit in my office chair.
Game loads. X out the annoying ad.
First things first: check time remaining until alliance war begins.
15 minutes. Good, plenty of time.
Tap alliance war shield.
Apply Strike Force to base defensive buildings.
Request additional defensive troops from alliance members.
Back to my base. Tap tap tap to collect fuel, steel, tech, resources.
Damn, attacked 3 times overnight? Revive Colossus in the Robotics Bay.
Open War Factory, collect Command Points bonus that’s finished building.
Purchase elite cache with Advance Materials, get a construction boost, resource boost, and 30 gold.
Tap on fuel stockpile, tap on speedup icon to request help from alliance.
Check Call to Arms mission. Nevermind, I’ll worry about that after I use my AW attacks.
Guess I’ll wait to finish Killswitch after the war too.
Need a couple more uplink modules so I can build another Ion Cannon.
Tap on Alliance chat. Gang’s all here. I smile.
Swarm: wzup dragon!
Gen Dragon (me): thanks for the troops. Ready to kick some ass
Swarm: Everyone pick your targets, claim them.
Steveo: I’ll take nomad, 72xp
Dragon: I’m fine with my recommended target for first attack
Illbreed: Ready to nuke something. I’ll go for bitbit, 71xp
Spos: I’m on my way to work guys, I’ll attack when I can
4a: Fuck you all!
Dragon: lol
Hard Target: I finally upgraded HQ to 20
Ricky: hey, way to go buddy
ANNOUNCEMENT: War’s about to start. Load strike force. Attack early. Don’t waste attacks
Sandan: Dragon, switch to squad deployment, instead of individual.
Dragon: roger that.
X out of chat. Tap on HQ, switch to squad deployment.
Apply auto repair boost to Colossus from Inventory.
Apply bonus command points boost to Weapons Command.
Apply strike force to 3 troop tarmacs.
Banner pops up on the screen. Alliance War has begun.
Tap on alliance war shield.
Screen freezes, then…
World map zooms in. There’s my base.
Recommended target is identified. Tap on Scout.
Adrenaline rush.
Here we go!