Mentors wanted

How can I meet people who push or challenge me as a person? Sure, having friends and family that I can relate to, who share memories or who understand certain struggles and issues is comforting. But I feel like to continue growing my character, my values, I need to surround myself with those who will provide a different perspective. Not to change my values, but to strengthen them. Not to pander to, or–on the opposite spectrum–to berate, but to embolden, to confront, to collaborate. Of course, to attract these kinds of individuals, I would display qualities that they value or respect. I’m not really sure how to go about this in a calculated way, but I’ve set my mind to be open to and ready for opportunities.

I love the motto, “Be your own hero.” The first time I heard it was from the athlete, Jessie Graff. To me, this means to be the type of person you want to be, that you can respect, to set an example for others as well. But how do you know what that looks like? I think anyone who accomplishes this goal successfully, has undoubtedly emulated the behavior and qualities they admire in certain individuals close to them. My conclusion is that if my life is lacking people I look up to who strengthen my confidence and resolve, then I need to seek them out.

I can think of a handful of people I’ve known throughout life that have challenged me in this way, but we’re no longer in contact, due to changing circumstances or locations. It’s time to build a network, no matter how small it might be, of persistent, successful teammates.

 

Values

values

Project quote:

“When did you start smoking and how did you start? … Were your friends trying cigarettes? … Did you want to look glamourous or just older? Were you trying to lose weight?”  (P. Stanford, Quit Smoking in 72 Hours: Without Weight Gain or Withdrawal, 2018)

My thoughts:

The topic of smoking does not interest me in the slightest. I’ve never smoked. I’ve never been interested in trying it out. I don’t really care too much whether other people smoke as long as it doesn’t happen in a place I’m unable to leave when they light up, like a vehicle, or restroom, or restaurant…etc.  So why am I writing about it?

What does interest me is understanding what makes people do things that they know will likely harm them. I certainly can’t exclude myself from this group, either.

I feel it’s important to examine motivations and fears, to discover what drives us to do anything risky or physically damaging. If we can admit to ourselves what we really want, no matter how petty, or ridiculous or worthwhile, then it’s a step towards figuring out what our values are.

If our values become clear, then it’s easier to weigh our actions against these values. Look for alternatives.

I’m having a difficult time coming up with examples because I fear that readers will think I’m judging them or picking things that I disapprove of. Maybe you all could help a lady out? Drop a comment below and tell me about something you do or have done that could be considered risky or harmful and then tell me what made you do it. Not an excuse, or a long explanation. But your true motivation or fear that pushed you.

Ok, here’s my confession. Often, I edit all night, and neglect to get enough sleep because I love receiving praise for my work. Seriously, I live for it sometimes. Feeling appreciated motivates me to provide the best quality of work that I possibly can, sleep deprivation be damned. The problem with that should be obvious, as it disrupts my schedule, and can affect my health.

There are so many things that people can lie to themselves about. But why? Fear of change? Fear of responsibility? Fear of pain in one form or another? Fear of loss? The list is endless.

But what do you value MORE than avoiding whatever your personal fear is?
What do you really want?
Security? Admiration? Love? Relief? Truth? Control? Acceptance?

… for me to stop asking questions?


Editing projects for weeks ending March 11, 2018:
Book publishing website, Nonfiction book, Technology website, Academic research article, Nonfiction investment book, Fiction book
Client countries:  US, Lithuania, China, Thailand