Wednesday’s Wafers VIII

Wednesday’s Wafers: weekly series where I share some of my own recent writing.

Return for Chapter 5 of my short story at a later date.

So–this is what happens when you think you know what you’re doing. When you have a plan. And then a random person splashes down right in the middle of that plan. And threatens your sanity.

Hovering  by Karolyn H

Rational thoughts,
responsible decisions, and
confident actions
absurd feelings,
reckless choices, and
foolish reactions.



in the realm that lies
between common sense and
hopeless distraction.

Losing perspective,
while gaining clarity.

That which my stability needs
is not what my heart wants.

Practicality and logic
cannot compete
with the music that makes my soul dance.

Your strength makes me weak
this love makes me strong.

Memories and dreams,
promises and heartaches,
old lovers and obsessions
all fade away

making room for a new flame,
opening a door
that could lead me



Wednesday’s Wafers VII

Wednesday’s Wafers: weekly series where I share some of my own recent writing.

Behold: Chapter 4! Be sure to catch up on any chapters you may have missed.

Ch. 4  Box of Clues  by Karolyn H  —  [Ch. 1] [Ch. 2] [Ch. 3]


Standing on the step-stool, I brace myself with one hand on the closet’s door frame, and reach up with the other to grab a shoebox off the shelf. Soco is sitting on the corner of my bed, watching me supportively, ready to investigate and play with any object that might fall to the floor.

I step down, scratch her briefly behind the ears, and take the shoebox with me out of the bedroom. Setting it on the kitchen island, I forage for snacks.

A bowl of watermelon cubes and a tall glass of iced tea should hit the spot. Soco is now standing by the front door, holding her leash between her teeth, looking at me expectantly. “Later, Soco, I have stuff to do right now.” I take the leash from her, and open the door, sending her out to roam around on her own. I leave the front door open to let in a breeze and pull the screen door shut to keep out the flying and crawling little buggers.

Armed with both determination and reluctance, I take off the lid of the shoebox and place it on the counter.

It’s been almost two weeks since I started working for Mr. Pagano. I wasn’t any closer to finding out what happened to my husband, but I had gotten comfortable with my work routine and felt that I had already began to build trust with my employer which would likely come into play when the right opportunity presented itself.

I dump everything out of the box onto the countertop. Here lay all the papers and photos and bits of evidence that I’ve gathered that are in any way connected to Morgan’s job and his last few days before disappearing. Check stubs, receipts, notes, mail, printed emails and bank statements, and—what I believed to be the most important piece—a flash drive containing copies of texts, photos, contact numbers, one short video and files.

Approximately eleven months ago, I had been working part time at a local specialty clothing store and Morgan had a job as an armed security officer with a local branch of Absolute Protection Enterprises, newly managed by Mr. Pagano. Morgan’s team had just been hired by an unknown client, for protection services. That was all he had been able to tell me about it.

That weekend, the new branch manager, Mr. Pagano, was out of town and unavailable, according to the receptionist, when I’d called the office looking for information on Morgan’s whereabouts. Since we’d never met or spoke before, he had no idea that I was the wife of one of his previous employees. When I applied for the housekeeping position a month ago, I gave him my maiden name. As I’d been working at Frankie’s Frocks for almost six years, my ex-boss still had me listed in their records under my maiden name, simply because it was easier than bothering to update the paperwork. She was sad to let me go, but happy to give me a reference, agreeing to my condition that she wouldn’t use my married name, or mention my current circumstances.

It was fortunate that Mr. Pagano had neglected to request my social security number to conduct an actual background check, and had relied on calls to a couple references, and on his judge of character.  Plus, as he paid me in cash, there would be no paper trail for him to follow. Even if he had decided to pay via checks, I would still be able to cash them using my maiden name through the bank account I’d kept, even after getting married and opening a separate joint account with Morgan at a different bank.

I picked up a gas station receipt, dated two days before the last time I’d had any contact with him. I’d found it in the pocket of one of his pairs of work khakis. He’d been in Blackfoot, apparently. I had reason to believe this gas station was located within a few miles of his team’s worksite that day, according to a couple texts he’d sent me that were time-stamped only a few minutes after the time on the receipt.

My phone will be turned off once I leave here sweetie. I’ll be at work in a few and will turn it back on when I’m headed home tonight. Love ya, see you tonight.

That night, he’d returned home exhausted and not very talkative. But the sensation of being curled up next to him on the sofa in front of the fireplace, drinking lime-flavored beer from the bottle, was still vivid in my mind.

I eat a few watermelon pieces and take a sip of iced tea. Looking outside, I watch Soco running back and forth, chasing the birds flying from tree to tree as they taunt her. I wonder whether I’m on a similar pointless chase, looking for clues and threads that might—or might not—lead me to answers and some sort of resolution.

The last text I’d received from him was imbedded in my memory, cryptic though it was. I’d read it over countless times, wishing he had given me more, wishing he’d called instead, always missing him fiercely.

E, don’t trust anyone don’t look for me luv you forever angel sorry 

I’d followed his mysterious wishes for months, through the initial denial that he was gone, and my feelings of helplessness.

Then, one Sunday afternoon, my friend, Joanne, who works as a waitress at a diner just off the freeway, called.  She asked me, “What was the name of Morgan’s manager again?” Confused as to why she would want to know, I told her I thought it was Mr. Pagano, that I didn’t know his first name. She then told me that she was pretty sure that he had just been sitting at the bar, having lunch and chatting up another waitress, joking about needing a housekeeper and passing out a few business cards. Joanne then went on to describe a blind date she’d gone out with recently, lamenting the guy’s lack of manners and sense of humor.

At that moment, I hadn’t really been sure what to do with the information. I’d filed it away, and talked with her for a few more minutes until her break was up.

That night, as I contemplated the empty side of our bed, I’d decided that this bit of information might be useful after all. Getting dressed again, I’d driven out to the diner, knowing that Joanne’s shift was over and she wouldn’t be there. I sat on one of the stools up at the bar and ordered a slice of lemon meringue pie. I’d been about to ask the waitress if she’d heard anything about the man who was in earlier looking for a housekeeper, when I saw a few stacks of business cards at the end of the bar near the register.

I’d gotten up to check them out, and—sure enough—next to some cards for a local gardening service, there were two cards with the name ‘Nicholas Pagano’ printed on them along with a phone number and nothing else. I snagged one, and back at my seat, had slipped it in my wallet. I finished my pie and drove back home.

Standing in front of Auntie Apple that night, I hadn’t spoken the usual words, but just closed my eyes and let the loneliness fill me up and spill down my cheeks. After remaining like that for several moments, I’d finally opened them again and walked up the stairs to unlock the door.

Even though I’d been happy at my retail job, I’d called Mr. Pagano the very next day to inquire about the open housekeeping position. I couldn’t sit by and do nothing anymore. Instinctively, I’d known that I needed to keep my true identity hidden from him, at least for a while.

Now, as I stood in my kitchen, I focused on the small piece of cloth I’d been holding in my hand. It appeared to be a logo or symbol of some kind, and the edges were torn as if it had been ripped from an article of clothing. I’d discovered it on the floor of the Toyota a couple days after Morgan had been missing and realized that he must have dropped it there on the day during the previous week when he’d taken my truck instead of his because his was low on gas.

It had to be important. I must figure out where it came from, and how it could lead me to the end of this path, no matter what might be waiting for me. I place the piece of cloth back in the box, along with everything else, except for the flash drive.

After finishing off the iced tea, I take the shoebox back into my bedroom and set it on top of the dresser. I walk over to my desk and open my laptop, popping the flash drive into the port, ready to examine everything on it one more time.





Project quote

“Out of the far horizon, came a vast city of lights, row stacked upon row, level over level battering fast in their direction, nearly headlong into the wind. It was a mountain of lights that crossed their bows faster into the wind than they ran with it.
“The heart of a monstrous beast throbbed within this vessel, the sound of its grumbling came to them through the soles of their feet. At the stern of the titan, boiled a violent turbulence.”    (M. Smorenburg; Ragnarok: Worlds Collide)

My thoughts

I had the pleasure of editing a second book for author Michael Smorenburg these past few weeks. This one included characters that hold a special place in my heart—Vikings—partly because I am Norwegian on my dad’s side, and partly because I find much of their culture noble and fascinating.

The quote above is a description of sights beheld by Vikings temporarily misplaced in the modern world, from the viewpoint of the Viking men. There are many more examples of this in the book, and they are all wonderful, and contribute to the authenticity.

This type of narration is so powerful, in my opinion, because it persuades readers to see familiar things through the eyes of someone who has no knowledge of them. As a writer, I find that viewing everyday objects, tools or events in this same manner really helps me to be more detailed with descriptions.

It would be easy to simply describe everything as “magic” and leave it at that, but that wouldn’t really portray what the subject is observing and perceiving. Similar to when one is trying to explain something to a child, it’s necessary to compare unfamiliar items with things that they are already familiar with and build from there.

What is something that you think would be challenging to describe to someone from a different place or time? It doesn’t necessarily have to be electronic technology, but it could be.

Editing projects for week ending May 21, 2017
Large fiction book
Client countries: South Africa


Wednesday’s Wafers V

Wednesday’s Wafers: weekly series where I share some of my own recent writing.

Chapter 3 of my short story has arrived. I think it’s turning itself into a Mystery!

Ch. 3  A.P.E.  by Karolyn H  ——-  [Ch. 1] [Ch. 2] [Ch. 4]


I hopped into my 1979 Toyota 4×4, and pulled the door shut. Starting the engine, I rolled down the driver’s side window and adjusted the mirror. My Golden Boxer, Soco, was sprawled out on the porch, looking a bit dejected, ears drooping sadly.

boxer “I’ll be back tonight, beautiful. Keep an eye on things, like you always do.” She woofed once in reply, with a brief wag of her tail.

I drove down the dirt driveway, avoiding the cavernous pothole around the curve. Glancing in the rear-view mirror, I took a long look at the crab apple tree planted several feet from the porch steps. I remember the day we dug the hole for it. It was three years ago, on a Saturday, and the sun was shining through the trees surrounding our small farmhouse and patch of property. We’d started early, to avoid having to work in the heat that was expected later in the day.

I hadn’t had any previous experience with gardening unless you count mowing the lawn and watering potted flowers. You had somehow convinced me that we needed this tree, so there we were, lowering the fledgling tree’s mass of roots into the hole. After filling in around it with the rest of the soil that had been dug out, you stood there with the hose, watering it for a good ten minutes. I smiled, remembering how you’d “accidentally” sprayed me a few times, feigning innocence. I had returned the favor, which led to a serious water fight and both of us being drenched after only a few minutes. sprayhose

Pulling out onto the main road that led to the highway, I checked the clock on the dash. 9:41. Glad I stopped for gas when I went to the store yesterday. Stopping now would make me late.

I cruised along, my mind running down the list of chores I would be doing at Mr. Pagano’s house today. When he hired me, he’d given me a general idea of what he expected, but left it up to me to plan out my time. This was unexpected, but a pleasant surprise.

Turning onto Cedar Lane, I slowed down then pulled up to the third house on the left. A cream and white postmodern four-bedroom home, with an immaculate lawn lined with carefully trimmed hedges.

I was barely on time, although it probably wasn’t a big issue as Mr. Pagano had already left for his job three hours ago. Parking in front of the garage, on the farthest side from the entryway, I grabbed my purse and phone and walked up the stone path. Second-guessing my memory, I rooted around in my wallet for the slip of paper I had copied the new entry code down on. Nicholas had called me yesterday to let me know he had digital keypads installed over the weekend.   

keypad After pressing each of the six numbers carefully, I heard the lock click, then grasped the curved handle. As I was pushing the door open, I remembered just in time to look down and be alert for Spooky—who should have been named Sneaky—who, according to Mr. Pagano, liked to wait in the shadows and attempt to slip out the door if you weren’t quick enough.

No kitty monster in sight as I closed the door. A duplicate keypad was on the far wall of the foyer, and I crossed quickly to enter the same code within 90 seconds to disarm the alarm. Well, I fucked it up the first time, the keypad flashing red accusingly at me. Anticipating the blaring alarm, I was ready to cover my ears, while cursing and entering the code correctly this time.

Spooky meowed in greeting from the staircase, then immediately ran to the kitchen, to sit by his food dish. I followed, and set my purse down on the counter.

I spied a note Mr. Pagano had left for me on the table. It included a grocery list and a message about garbage and recycling pick-up days. He thanked me again, and had signed ‘Nick’ with a flourish at the bottom.

After taking care of the ravenous beast, I located the door that led to the garage, and ventured in to look for the plastic garbage and recycling receptacles. They were over in the corner nearest the wide automatic garage door. Looking around, I observed that this was likely the cleanest and most organized garage I’d ever seen. Hopefully that meant that I wouldn’t meet up with too many creepy crawlies.

I lifted the green bin marked “Recyclables”, and saw that it was only about a third of the way full. I was about to drop the lid, when my eyes locked on to the distinct mustard yellow color of a manila envelope sticking out from under some newspaper ads.

I reached in and grabbed it, hoping to find some of its original contents still inside. It was empty. I was disappointed, but was not surprised. I flipped it over, and read the address label, confirming that this was the same envelope I’d briefly seen last Friday. It was addressed to Mr. Nicholas Pagano, and was from Absolute Protection Enterprises. Or, A.P.E. for short. I snickered, even as I rifled through the other papers on the top of the pile, looking for anything that might be from the same company.

Not finding anything that appeared useful, I laid the envelope on top of the bin and snapped a photo of the address with my phone, then tossed it back inside.

I hadn’t discovered any visible cameras in the living area last week, when I had briefly scouted the place while vacuuming. But I mentally kicked myself for not checking the garage just now, before taking the photo. Looking around again, but with an eye for blinking lights and reflective lenses, I was relieved that there didn’t appear to be any in here either.

My husband, Morgan, would have commented that for someone who managed a security company, this guy didn’t appear to represent the industry very well. He would have said that, if he were around.

A lump formed in my throat, and my eyes teared up. I brushed them away and gave my head a shake, to clear away the memories for the time being. I needed to be strong and I damn sure needed to find out what really happened to my cowboy, the love of my life.

Back in the kitchen, I brewed a cup of java and started planning dinners for the week, exploring the pantry and refrigerator to find out if anything else should be added to Mr. Pagano’s grocery list.


After a busy day of shopping, cleaning and dodging kitten attacks, I was glad to be headed home. A good country song came on the radio so I turned it up and sang along all the way to the end my driveway. I locked it up, and Soco ran up to greet me, bouncing around, overjoyed that I hadn’t abandoned her forever.

Before climbing the steps, I stopped in front of our crab apple tree, affectionately named ‘Auntie Apple’ by Morgan the day after she was planted. I reached out and touched one of her branches, and whispered, “Thank you for holding my fears.” This was one of our rituals. It was his idea. He said that we should always feel safe in our home and in each other’s arms, so he declared that Auntie Apple would be appointed to hold our fears for us before stepping inside. And in his arms, there had only been love.

Soco followed me inside, and raced me to the sofa, jumping up just before I dropped heavily onto the cushion next to her. She laid her head on my lap and looked up at me with those dark, expressive eyes of hers. “I know, angel. I miss him too.”

But now I am finally starting to heal and was ready to continue on the path towards some concrete answers. I laid my head back to relax, and caressed Soco’s soft ears. My mind, refusing to relax, was spinning, as I wondered how long I would have to wait, until I could access Mr. Pagano’s laptop. He was in the dark as far as any relation I had to Morgan, and his own company. But he certainly was not in the dark about events that led up to my husband’s disappearance.


Wednesday’s Wafers III

Wednesday’s Wafers: weekly series where I share some of my own recent writing.

Are you ready for the next chapter in my story? I love how my character is developing. Let me know what you think is going on. Enjoy!

Ch. 2 Surreptitious by Karolyn H  —-  [Ch. 1] [Ch. 3] [Ch. 4]


oxfords.jpg The front door opens, and a man in a business suit steps inside, shutting the door behind him. He wipes his brown suede Oxfords on the mat then crosses the foyer to hang his suit jacket on the coat rack.

He sees me and smiles tiredly. “Erica, thanks again for starting today. I’ve had quite the crazy week. Any problems so far?”

“You’re very welcome, Mr. Pagano,” I replied. “And no problems at all. I took the liberty of preparing a light lunch since you mentioned that you would be leaving work early today.” Hoping that I didn’t sound too eager, I shifted my legs awkwardly, clasping my hands in front of my waist.

“Thank you, and it’s Nicholas. Actually, just call me Nick, please. No need for formality really,” Mr. Pagano—Nick—assured me.

Out of the corner of my eye, I barely caught a glimpse of the tiny black shadow that streaked across the floor to slide comically into a heap in front of my new employer. Nick’s face lit up and he bent down to scoop up the kitten, who was now purring furiously and trying to lick any part of his human that he could reach. Chuckling, Nick carried him into the kitchen, setting his laptop case down on a chair, and a few pieces of mail on the dining table.laptopcase

“I see you met my new roommate! I think I’m Spooky’s hero, at least for a little while. I guess he hasn’t forgotten how I rescued him a couple days ago. I probably shouldn’t have kept him, but now he won’t be home alone all day, at any rate, since you’ll be coming by a few days every week.” By now, Spooky had climbed onto his shoulder and was sitting there contentedly, rubbing his cheek against Nick’s ear.

I couldn’t help but laugh at the adorable little sidekick. “Well, how could you possibly resist that face? Even if he does like to race around the house, testing my balance and reflexes.” Walking to the nearest cupboard, I opened the doors, looking for tableware.  I found a set of square, black dishes and matching mugs in the next cupboard over. These’ll do, I decided, and brought two plates to the table then hunted for some silverware.

Nick headed towards the wide staircase at the end of the hall, kitten still latched on to him. “I’ll go change really quick, then I’ll be down for lunch. Don’t feel like you need to wait, help yourself.”

I waited until Nick was out of site, and I could hear him treading across the carpet into his bedroom. When his door shut, I zipped over to the table, and immediately started flipping through the envelopes strewn across the tablecloth.

praying My heart beating out of my chest, I listened closely for any sound upstairs, and prayed that I could remember how the mail had been arranged so that he wouldn’t suspect that I’d been snooping through it.

Bill, bill, credit card offer, bill, ads…I glanced at his laptop case, debating. No, not right now, it’s just too risky. I’m sure I’ll have a chance another day. I picked up the last piece of mail on the bottom of the pile, a letter-sized manila envelope.

Reading the return address label, my hands began to tremble and my cheeks felt flushed.  I knew it—could this really be from who I think it is…?

Just then, the door upstairs opened, and I could hear Nick scolding the kitten. I frantically put the envelope back underneath the rest of the mail, and spread out the stack how they’d—hopefully—been tossed originally.

Choosing my seat at the table strategically, with my back to the stairs, I calmed my nerves and focused on not having a panicked expression.

Nick pulled back the chair across from me, now dressed in blue jeans and a casual Henley t-shirt. Smiling, he declared, “This looks perfect, Erica. I’m starving. Please, join me, no need for you to rush off yet. You’re scheduled for two more hours anyway.” He sat down and immediately started dishing out some pasta and using the salad tongs to serve himself a large portion.

Spooky, indicating that he was clearly suffering from immense thirst and starvation, was mewing at us insistently. He had followed at Nick’s heels all the way to the table.

“I fed you not that long ago, buddy,” I said to the kitty, which had no effect on his cries, but did allow me to further compose myself.

“Mr. Paga– Nick, I do need to run the dishwasher, and I haven’t finished folding the laundry. So, I’ll stick around to take care of that before going home for the weekend. Is there anything else you need this afternoon?” I looked at him expectantly, trying to avoid the sharp little claws that were stretching up to dig into my slacks.

Nick chewed and swallowed, putting down his fork. “Heavens, no. When you’re done, take off and enjoy your Friday night! Here,” he reached into his back pocket for his wallet, taking out a few bills. “I’ll pay you for today, then every Friday of each week, how’s that sound? And I insist that you eat with me before you go.” manpayingmoney2

As he handed me my wages, I opened my mouth to respond, and his cell phone trilled. I waited while he glanced at the screen. He stared at it for a moment, as if contemplating whether he wanted to answer the call or not. He looked up apologetically. “Sorry, I have to take this, but it should only be a minute.”

He pushed back his chair to stand up and swiped at the phone to stop it’s ringing. Putting it to his ear, he spoke to the caller in a business-like tone. “Stefano, it’s great to hear from you. Let me step outside.”

He strode toward the sliding glass doors that led to the back patio. Then, he stopped and pivoted around, walking back to the table. He proceeded to search through the mail, and selected a familiar manila envelope, taking it with him outside. As he was sliding the door closed behind him, I heard him say over the phone, “I’ve received the package in question, and will open it now.”

Stunned, I numbly added some pasta and salad to my plate, paying it little attention. I ate, not tasting the cucumbers and onions, but watching Mr. Pagano instead, trying not to look like I was.

Who was he talking to? How can I find a way to read what’s in that envelope? The weight of what I was here to do and the reasons why caused my throat to tighten and my jaw to clench.

When it appeared that he had ended the call, and was coming back inside, I stopped eating, having lost my appetite. Keeping my inner turmoil from showing on my face, I got up to clear my plate.

“Now, where was I?” Nick asked. “Right, lunch.” He resumed enjoying his meal, not looking the slightest bit concerned.

Clearing my throat, I faced him and spoke carefully. “Nick, cash payments once a week works fine for me, thanks. I think I’ll get busy now, so that I can get out of your hair sooner. Enjoy your lunch.”

He nodded, his mouth full, and waved me off.

I washed my hands, then headed towards the laundry room, on the other side of the pantry. My mind, filled with both apprehension and resolve, wandered through various scenarios and memories. Memories that I could never forget. Plans that I refused to alter.


Spooky squeezed around me, and hopped into the basket full of warm shirts and towels, curling up to take his next catnap. I scratched his ears, pulled a bath towel out from under his tail and started folding.


Signs of life


This sign happens to be outside a gas station in Seattle, which is the city I grew up in. Apparently they put up a new punny sign every week.

Project quote

“Ferdinand de Saussure was a well-known and influential Swiss linguist of the 20th century…Saussure classified language as a system of signs.” (Albert1990, 2017)

My thoughts

Most of us, including myself, have taken language for granted. Really, language is so complex and versatile. Without it, how would we tell stories so detailed that the reader can place themselves in the moment and see it clearly? Without language, how would we explain physics or program a computer, or write a moving poem?

I know I’m not the only person who thrives on word play, puns, and strategic comedy. Just a few things that would be impossible without language. I can’t imagine having to communicate purely by speech and pictures. The book The Handmaid’s Tale portrays a disturbing society where items at the grocery store are labeled with pictures only and women are not allowed to read. There were other disturbing things in the story of course, but for some reason, the thought of my intelligence being insulted and restrained gave me the cold chills. Comparable to only being able to text using emojis and emoticons…oh the horror!

Editing projects for week ending April 23, 2017

College essay, Thesis dissertation

Client countries: US, Canada